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Has Anger Hijacking Your Ability to Communicate?

This month I thought I would have us explore the topic of communication that will culminate in a super duper exciting FREE event. More to come on that!

I want to start by describing a little scenario...see if you can relate.

You are having a conversation with your significant other (or anyone important to you in your life) and all of a sudden you are overcome with anger. Out of the blue it seems you've been hijacked. Your mind goes blank (or overwhelmed with many thoughts), your body gets hot or numb, and you no longer can hear what is being said between the two of you. You feel like you've entered some sort of vortex. Sound at least vaguely familiar?

So here's what's going on. You've been triggered. And more likely than not, by accident. You see, we all have these old wounds that get activated by the people closest to us and this typically happens because we are the most vulnerable with them.

Somehow, someway, the person in front of you has said, or not said, something that sends you back to a much younger age. Or an experience that brought you a whole lot of shame. Now, again, they most likely did not intend to hurt you this way. This is important to remember.

Now, the first step when this happens is to notice and become aware that something is going on with you. The second step, do nothing. Seriously, don't move, don't speak. Nothing.

If we can learn to recognize when we are triggered (see the above list of bodily sensations that can occur) and then pause....man, that would change a whole lot of our interactions with the people we love the most.

So that is your homework this week. Notice you are triggered and pause. See what happens.

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