How often are you having super duper reactions to the choices other people make in their lives? I have to say, for me, a bit more than I like to admit.
I've had a chance this week to really explore and challenge myself with the concept of non-attachment. I've been faced with another person's life choices (which did not line up with what I thought was best for this person!) and having to balance these with what does or doesn't work for me. The definition of boundaries.
As I consciously practiced separating my thoughts from my feelings I realized I was more able to stay in a loving but firm place within myself and with the other person. My feelings were in the sad and scared emotional realm. My thoughts were, "I'm being used", "this person is making choices that will put their hard work in jeopardy", "What if they get hurt"?
I allowed my feelings to just be my feelings. But I took control of my thoughts. I shifted into non-attachment thoughts. "I am not in charge of or responsible for this person's life choices", "It's ok that I want to set clear boundaries" and "it is ok that I'm having feelings about this" .
What I recognized was that when this person was sitting right in front of me and I was setting boundaries without attachment to their response I could just love them. There was a moment the following morning when they were in my living room and I was able to just look at them and feel love.
And my goal is to be in a place of LOVE as often as I can.
This is hard stuff you guys. I have bounced back and forth between being attached and non-attachment all week. It's taken continuous, deliberate effort to keep shifting my thoughts. And while I've been purposely vague re: the details of this story (for privacy reasons) I will say it is life and death decisions we're talking about. The big ones, you know?
So who are you feeling a boat load of resentment towards in your life? Or maybe you are avoiding this person, feel exhausted and overwhelmed by their presence in your life. These are the people to focus you efforts of non-attachment and boundary setting on.
Let me know if you need a hand. I'm here for you.