So how did it go? Were you able to notice when you were feeling triggered and stop? What sensations in your body did you experience? What emotions did you notice? Were you able to focus on your breath, rather than react?
Tara Brach states, "A pause is, by nature, time limited. We resume our activities, but with increased presence and more ability to make choices. When we pause, we don't know what will happen next. But by disrupting our habitual behaviors, we open to the possibility of new and creative ways of responding to our wants and fears".
This is what we are going for in this practice of pausing when in a difficult communication experience. This is the first step in radically changing your experience as a communicator and as a listener.
I want to remind you that this is challenging work. So, if you tried and still blew up at the person in front of you, be gentle with yourself. This is a practice, not perfection. If you forgot all about this, be gentle with yourself. If you tried and were able to pause for a few seconds and then still blew up, be gentle with yourself.
You seeing the point? BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF! No one ever changed a behavior by beating themselves up.
And now you might be wondering, what's next? I believe so much in the importance of this step there is no next step this week. Seriously, learning to pause so that you can respond rather than react is a MAJOR step towards becoming a more skilled communicator.
So spend the week focusing on this again. Remember, PAUSE, BREATHE, DON'T MOVE OR SAY ANYTHING. Be curious about how this impacts you and your communication experiences.
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