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From Shame to Self-Compassion

A couple weeks back I shared with you about the shame storm I was caught in and offered some tips on how to ride out the storm if you are in one. So how are you doing with navigating your made up, untrue stories and the shame that lurks underneath them?

Have you been able to practice slowing down and noticing? Or call a trusted friend and speak about your shame?

Often what can happen when we start doing this work is typically one of two things.

  1. We don’t notice any thoughts or emotions that might be shame, so we think we don’t have any OR
  2. We recognize how loud our “I’m not enough” story is and start feeling like we are drowning in a sea of shame.

Which one is it for you? Remember, I said typically. You might be having a whole other kind of experience.

So here’s what I want to encourage you to do. First, remember that exploring shame is not an easy task to take on. It takes a lot of practice to learn to recognize it and then take steps to navigate it differently.

Second, I want to share a compassionate, easy to use anywhere mindfulness meditation that I learned from Kristen Neff. Take a moment and sit back in your seat, feel your feet on the floor, and take 3 slow, deep breaths. Place your hand on your heart or any other way that feels gentle and soothing.

And now repeat after me,

  • I am suffering right now. This is really hard.
  • I am not alone in this. Other people feel this way to.
  • May I be kind to myself in this moment. You could even say, “Darling, I know you are hurting. It’s ok”.

You can do this anytime you feel overwhelmed by your emotions whether that’s in your car, in the grocery store, or waiting in the carpool line at your kid’s school.

With loving kindness,