Return to site

Getting Caught in a Shame Storm

Yesterday. Phew, that was a rollercoaster. I started my day feeling really good. Feeling positive and confident. Then, out of seemingly nowhere came fear and overwhelm. Like physically I felt this wave wash over me. I was quite startled by it actually.

For a few minutes I scoured my mind for answers to the cause of this emotion, which only increased the fear. And then I remembered what I've been learning and put it into practice.

I sat myself down on the couch in my office and surrendered and focused on my breath. In. Out. In. Out. And then, there it was. Clarity. Under the fear and overwhelm I was feeling shame.

You see, I've had a few things not go the way I had hoped in the past week and while individually I navigated them well, collectively they built up and started a "who do I think I am" story.

Those darn, made up, untrue stories. You know the ones, right? They tell you how your doing things wrong and are not ____ enough. They are the opposite of kind and loving.

Once I recognized that I was in some shame I was able to activate my shame resiliency skills. How I navigated the world before learning these I will never know! Well, I do and it wasn't pretty.

Here are the basics:

  1. Recognize you are in shame (usually your body is telling you this)
  2. Reach out to a trusted friend
  3. Speak your shame to this person (describe the thoughts/experiences, etc that are creating to this emotion).

So the next time you feel overwhelmed by fear, first make yourself sit down and breathe. Then, ask yourself "what's really going on". And then, if shame is the answer practice the basics.

In love & worthiness,