"Each one of us is alone in the world. It takes great courage to meet the full force of your aloneness"
As I get ready to depart Ireland tonight I'm sitting here reflecting on what these past 2-months have been about for me. It's certainly been an experience filled with the unexpected, and not always in the "oh that was so fun and exciting way"!
This has truly been a time to sincerely and fully embrace aloneness and learning the difference between that and loneliness. They are very different experiences, each it's own powerful teacher. What I came to understand was that the feeling of loneliness happened when I was in resistance to what was or in some way making my current experience wrong (which usually sounded like the self-critic gremlin). That resistance created the suffering of loneliness.
When I was able to practice embracing, for reals, acceptance of what was, of each moment, I experienced more of what I described as aloneness. There was no suffering when I was in this space, I was ok. This literally was a moment to moment practice at times ("I can choose peace instead of this" was my walking the dog mantra), but sooooo worth the long sought after peace I was craving.
One of the most common struggles I hear from clients is the feeling of loneliness. I think so many of us experience it and resist it. It's not a pleasant feeling. And yet.... by shifting our perspective....peace. Being alone does not have to be a negative reflection on your worth as a human. It just means that in this space and time you are alone. Getting comfortable with that, I am finding, is freedom.
And just to be clear, comfort with aloneness does not mean never wanting companionship or community. I am more clear now how much I want that in my life. It's just that it feels like it's coming from a place of true desire rather than desperation to fill a void. And my hope is that entering into relationships from a place that feels more whole within me, I will be able to create healthy, whole, and FUN relationships!
So, when was the last time you truly allowed yourself to be alone? No distractions. Just you and you. I highly recommend it.
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